hardballsy: (010)
josh(ua) lyman ([personal profile] hardballsy) wrote in [personal profile] glassesonachain 2017-01-25 02:45 am (UTC)

Okay.

[It's an okay of acknowledgement, an okay that says I can work with this. Because she's talking.

She hasn't hung up on him, she isn't yelling. She's talking. She's being honest, and her answer doesn't hurt so much.

— or doesn't hurt much, until he realizes the slight pang he just felt was pity. Then he just feels like an asshole. That's what hurts, the realization that she fell in with a guy like him, when she really didn't deserve it.]


I was talking to a friend about this. He was thinking of getting married, and... I mean, this isn't —

[There's a pause as Josh licks his lips and glances away, just for a second.]

I get that. I get not liking to let go. I'm the same way. But I also can't... wrap my head around the idea of eternity. [And then he adds, quickly:] Not that I think that's what you're looking for. I just wanna make sure I can give you what you're after and if it's — if it's long-term, historically, I've never really been able to...

[Just spit it out.]

Bennett, I can't commit to you right now. That's what this is. I like seeing you, and I like it when we go out, and I like... so much about you, there's so much about you that's... good. But I like someone else, too. [Someones else. Josh refuses to admit that much.] And I don't know what I want, 'cause I keep getting caught up in the idea of forever. I know how I feel, though. And if that's not enough for you, I'd also get that.

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